I never really liked using public bathrooms.
Then again, I don't think I've ever met anyone that has.
It's just so impersonal. Anyone can come in and listen to what it is you're doing on the other side of that stall.
It comes to the point that they make you feel insecure - like following such bodily duties is a crime.
That, or they simply creep you out.
You find yourself consistently trying to squint between the crack in the stall door to see if someone is leaning in; their ear against the stall, slowly getting off on the sound of urine hitting water.
You pacify your nerves, "Nah. That doesn't happen."
You tell yourself, in repeat.
Then you figure, when people gain rights to wed their pets, they can just as easily gain a fatal attraction to fecal matter and all that accompanies it.
So you quietly sit up, making note of avoiding anything that could scare away the silent eavesdroppers leering on the other side of the door.
Staring into the clean bowl, you flush the empty toilet; a charad